Longing to Be Done

Oh, how I long for the day that I can be all done working. Boo is such a joy to be around. It's okay working and I haven't been miserable the entire time, but it's so hard seeing everyone else get to spend time with him while I'm trekking to work. Today was especially hard. Boo's sick - nothing major, just a little cold. But there's nothing like mommy for a baby when they're not feeling well. I would've loved to stay home, but I only have one sick day accrued so far. I could've used it, but I felt like I needed to save it for when Boo is more sick. Does that make sense? I just hate it though. I should be home holding him and comforting him and I'm not. Enough ranting for now I guess.

As to an update, all of my projects have been on hold since going back to work. It's really hard to juggle everything at the end of a long work day. I'm trying to find a way to put "Crystal's fun creative time" back into my day, but so far it's not happening. I'd love to hear tips from other working moms. I'd love to figure out how to make good money from home. Anyone have any ideas on that one? I'm all ears. I think teaching piano could be promising, but when I wasn't working full time I lacked the funds to properly promote my business. Now I have the funds and no time. Arrgg - life. Gotta love it!

Boo is doing really good though. I need to update with newer pics. I actually did that with a new post, but I'm not sure where the post went. I must not have saved it. That's frustrating. Oh well.

Well, time to get going back to the daily grind!

Boo pulled himself up!

Boo is getting much more mobile. He really likes to stand at the coffee table and swipe at everything on it. Well, today he finally figured out how to pull himself up instead of scream at me until I do it for him. He scoots around on his butt and goes backwards on his tummy. He's so close to crawling, but can't quite get over one of his legs. Plus, he's pretty laid back, so if he has an option besides crawling he usually takes that. Overall, I think we both do okay with the whole mommy goes to work thing. It's just hard to keep up. For example, my goal of writing in my blog three times a week? Hmmm...need to work on that one. Also, my baby-led feeding blog is falling behind. So much to do, so little time! I am happy to be at work though. It's so nice to have money to pay bills. As much as I hate being away from Boo, the amount of stress that has been lifted has made it so much easier to feel content from day to day. That's always a good thing.

I'll have to get my Easter pics up soon. They have to get developed first. Boo had a cute little outfit on of course. And he got an Easter basket. He got a couple of books - one being his first bible. He also got some farm animals that make noise.

I managed to scrape my eye for Easter. I was brushing my hair and somehow brushed my eye. I'm talented I know. It hurt all day on Sunday. Yesterday it hurt worse and after driving to my mom's house on Monday morning to drop Boo off I couldn't open my eye for several hours. So, I ended up going to the eye doctor instead of to work. I have an abrasion on my left eye. Wow. I'm so talented. Anyways, it's still pretty painful, but doing much better. I go back to the eye doctor tomorrow. Hopefully there won't be any scarring. That could affect my vision permanently. The eye doctor didn't think there would be scarring, so I'm hoping for the best. Some people would love to have 20/20 vision. I have it and I stick a hairbrush in my eye. Gotta love it!

Here's a couple of recent pics:

Back at Work

Just thought I'd write a little blurb about being back at work. So far we're adjusting okay. Boo is still not sure that he wants to nap well during the day when I'm not there. But he'll get there. He's pretty happy though even without good naps. He's just happier with them. The adjustment is hard. I miss him during the day. Most days I'm in town and I can just run over to my parents and spend time with him over lunch and nurse him and that sort of thing. However, some days I'm an hour away for training and those days stink. But it is what it is. He's definitely clingier in the evening now. He doesn't want to let mommy out of his sight. So that's rough. It makes me feel sad for him. Plus it makes it hard to get anything done in the evening. As of yet my house hasn't offered to clean itself and dinner doesn't cook all by itself. I'll let you know if that changes.

We're still doing cloth diapering. I've actually been able to keep up with it okay since working. But I've had to make it a priority. Sometimes the regular laundry gets behind, but we have diapers. I just bought some more to help me not have to wash so much. As soon as I prep them we can start using them. I got a bunch of prefolds. They're the most economical choice for cloth diapering, but not quite as convenient as the pocket diapers that I use a lot. I plan to use the prefolds myself and save the pockets for my husband and my parents. I don't see them wanting to mess with the prefolds. But I will if it's saving us money and helping me to have one or two more days inbetween diaper loads.

Pumping has been difficult. It's hard making sure that Boo has enough milk every day. But it's so worth it. It's something that's incredibly important to me so I make it a priority. I've done a couple of middle of the night pumpings just to make sure I keep up that week. I'm finally starting to get a little ahead of the demand. Yay. But I went out and got a rental (hospital grade) pump at the end of last week and I think that I'm getting more with it. I'm still not saying for sure yet. I feel like it's too soon to make a definite call on that one.

I got to see a super-close friend last week who is currently preggers and that was fun. It was the first time that Boo got to meet her so I was excited.

Boo and I are taking a parent/baby swim class with a friend and her baby. The first week Boo pouted a lot during the class. Not today. He was all smiles. He had a grand old time. I've decided that I need to find a new swimsuit though as my current one isn't fitting my postpartum nursing body. I won't be going to the thrift shop for that one. No way - I draw the line there. Anyways, I did update my Thrifting the Year Away blog. Nothing thrilling, just an update on my progress as promised.

Pumping at 3 AM

Yes, that's what I'm doing. I'm pumping at 3 am. It's very very hard to keep up with the milk that Boo needs during the day while I'm at work. Tomorrow I'm going to be out of town for training and I'm a bit short, so hence the middle of the night pumping.

Work has been going okay. I think that the job will be interesting and not too horrible. The first couple of weeks were okay. This week I'm having a harder time. I cried on my drive to work yesterday. Boo is at a point where he knows that I'm leaving and starts whining when he sees me getting my keys and putting on my coat. It's so sad. I feel like my heart is continually being ripped from my chest all day long. But, this is life and this is our reality right now. So what's one to do but just deal with it, right? I just remind myself that I'm doing this so that T can go to school and maybe someday I won't have to go to work and can stay home with our many children. That would be wonderful. Although, I remember what hard work that is being home all day.

We finally did get our tax return and Boo made out like a fat rat. It's nice to get extra on the return due to having a child, but it all went to him anyways.

For the record, I hate pumping. I'm glad there's a way that I can get milk for my baby while I work. But I hate pumping. I've pumped several times in a bathroom sitting on the floor. No fun. When I'm at my office I shut my office door and pump. I share with one other person, but my desk faces a wall away from her, so I can just pump away without worrying about flashing anyone. When I'm not at the office (which is when I'm out of town for training) I must rush to the bathroom inbetween training activities and pump. It's pretty frustrating. That's going to be my lot in life tomorrow as I'll be out of town. Ugh.

Well, looks like I've got enough milk now. I'm going to go back to bed and try to get more sleep before 6 am rolls around.

Our Torture Tape

Well, it's on record that we torture our child. Okay, let me explain. Today was my first day back at work. The day went pretty okay. I actually was able to get through it with minimal tears. I was not happy with my pumping progress. He drank about 12 oz. while I was gone. I was able to pump about 4 or 5 total. Not good. The woman I was commuting to training with today has actually worked in maternal care as a nurse. She suggested making a tape of him crying. Her suggestion really made sense to me because I know that my body does have a physiological response to his cries. So after being home for awhile and cuddling my poor Boo (who practically jumped out of the exersaucer when I walked in the door), I tortured him. I handed him to my hubby even though he clearly wanted me. I pushed record on the tape recorder and I left the room (gasp). I stood in the kitchen where he couldn't see me for several agonizing minutes while my hubby held him and he cried for his mama. It was the saddest thing ever. As someone who practices attachment parenting and doesn't use crying it out ever, this was the hardest thing I've ever done. But I'm very committed to being able to nurse him without formula, so I knew that in the end if it helped me to produce enough milk it would be worth it. Oh, but it was the saddest thing. Well, I tried my tape later after he went to bed and I got a lot more than I usually would this time of night. The tape was agonizing to listen to, but I could feel my body responding to the sound of his cry. So I've packed my tape recorder with the tape and some headphones in my pump bag for work tomorrow. I think it's going to be harder at work when my body responds to his cry and he's nowhere around for me to cuddle with. Waaahhhh.

A Juicer!!!!

Okay...the bad news? Still no freaking tax return. Agh!! The good news? A good friend of ours got a new juicer and gave us his old one. I'm so excited. I've always wanted to try juicing, but have never put the money into getting a juicer. So now I'm going to hunt all over the internet for juicing recipes and resources. If you know of any I'm all ears. Yippee!!

Come on Tax Return

We've been desperately waiting for our tax return. Come on Uncle Sam - Be quick for once in your life! We have so many plans including buying groceries. I'm pretty excited about that one myself. We will be saving some. Hmm....a savings account...what a concept. But I must admit that the majority of it will be spent. Some on unpaid bills and a lot of it on Boo. He's going to make out like a bandit and it's not even his birthday. Lucky duck.

The biggest purchase will be his convertible car seat. He doesn't necessarily need it right away, but I'd rather get it when I know we've got it, know what I mean? He'll also get a crib mattress. His crib has been looking awfully lonely without one. So finally he'll actually have the option of sleeping in his crib. Although with us co-sleeping it will still only be used for daytime naps for awhile yet. He'll also be getting a changing pad and covers on it so I don't have to lay his soft, snuggly little self on a hard dresser in order to change him. A baby gate will be in order to keep his curious little self from killing himself on our wooden stairs. Actually we'll probably need at least two baby gates. Oy! They're not cheap! I'm going to add to his cloth diaper collection so that I don't have to do laundry as much. Yay - looking forward to this a lot. Also, I'll be buying Boo some bottles that are free of BPA. After looking around I think I'm going to go for Sassy's new Mams Bottles. I really like the glass bottles, but these were more affordable. And they're polypropylene as opposed to polycarbonate. If there's enough tax return left I'd like to get a trailor for my bike so that I can take Boo on bike rides when it warms up a bit. I'd also like to paint and decorate his room and get him a sandbox for summer (which would be part of his birthday). I don't want much do I?

As for myself I do need to get clothes for work, especially since I start on Monday. Come on tax return. Did I already say that? Anyways, my progress on that will be on my other blog - Thrifting the Year Away, seeing as my goal is to only buy clothing from thrift shops this year. My town has an awful selection though. Why didn't I challenge myself to do this while still living in the Burbs? Oh well. Hopefully I'll get lucky.

Well, it's getting late and I'm really going to regret it if I don't hurry up and get my arse in bed.