Rearranging

I have no daycare kiddos today as Boo is sick. So I've been rearranging today, when I'm not sitting and holding Boo anyways. T and I had decided that we wanted to change around the upstairs. The arrangement had been a bedroom for Boo and a bedroom/office for me and T. That has not been working well. In our bedroom we had a computer desk, a huge bookshelf, a dresser, a printer stand, and a bed. And let me tell you, it's not a big bedroom. So, it's just been too cramped and almost impossible to keep clean because there's just too much stuff that goes into one little room. Boo is pretty much never in his bedroom. He naps in there during the day, but we still cosleep at night. So this is what we decided. We nixed Boo's bedroom as it's never used. He's at the age where he really doesn't want to go into his room to play by himself, know what I mean? That will come later. So we moved our bed into his room and we now all share a bedroom. So what used to be me and T's bedroom/office is now only going to be an office. Boo's toyshelf from his bedroom was moved into the office so that he has stuff to play with if we're spending time in there at the computer.

Now T will have room for his art desk in the newly created office. Eventually we'd like to add one of those little children's easles to the room so that Boo can create alongside daddy or mommy.

Anyways, I'm digging the new bedroom as I'm excited about being able to go to sleep at night and not see the piles of junk on the computer desk. And I think this arrangement makes way better use of the space in our upstairs. By the time Boo is actually wanting a room to play in I'm sure we'll have moved anyways. So this seems a much better arrangement for our family right now.

Fun with books

I've found a line of books that is absolutely wonderful for reading with my little one. What better way to enhance attachment with your children than sitting and reading together. In fact, these are some of my favorite moments with Boo. He loves sitting on mommy's lap while I read to him. Anyways, he focus of this book company is on providing quality storytelling with quality art. I can tell you firsthand that the books are amazing. I'm working on building up my own collection. They also carry some wonderful music CDs called Putamayo Kids. I use them on a daily basis in my daycare and Boo LOVES them. The music CDs feature music from different cultures that appeal to children and they're nice because it's great music and not that jarring, abrasive sound sometimes found in children's music CDs. I've got some of their board books and love them. A paperback that I bought is "Magic Train Ride" - LOVE it, LOVE it, LOVE it. Boo, my little one, asked for it "agaim" and "agaim" and "agaim". I'm actually considering basing the theme of his second birthday party on it as there's lots of room with the book to work in crafts, activities, etc...

Anyways, I'll stop gushing now. They've got free shipping this weekend. There's a banner on the right you can click on if you'd like to browse and get free shipping this weekend. Enjoy!

Chores - What Do You Think?

I was talking with a friend on the phone the other day and asked her out of curiosity how she handles chores, allowance, that sort of thing around her house. I really thought her approach was great so I thought I would share. And to the person that I spoke with, feel free to comment if I screw up some detail of this.

Basically, the approach is that a child has some sort of household chore that contributes to the family in a significant way. This could be dusting, dishes, cleaning the bathroom, etc...But something that contributes to the house as a whole. This is not a paid chore. This is expected as a contributing member of the family. In addition, if a child is interested in making some money, there are some extra things that a child could do around the house in order to earn money.

I LOVE this approach and am going to try it when Boo is old enough. Although, I do try to incorporate him now as he's able. Here's what I love. I love that the child is contributing to the family. To me, this seems as though it would incorporate a strong sense of family, community, helping one another, etc...It seems like it would help to instill the value of family and relying on family. I like that it's NOT paid. I think the danger in rewarding every little thing a child does is that it can lead to a sense of entitlement and/or a manipulative mindset. I do because I want this, that, or the other. Or I don't do because someone else will do it for me. Instead, I think children need to learn to give of themselves to their family because it's the right thing to do and experience that internal reward that comes from contributing and being a part of something larger than yourself. It seems that overusing extrinsic rewards robs children of the opportunity to learn the value of intrinsic rewards.

I have seen this first hand when I worked in a residential facility that used a behavioral point program. Every behavior had a consequence, good or bad. And children did learn to "behave well", especially the older ones who had been at this facility for awhile. But only when someone was looking who could award the appropriate points. In short, they learned to manipulate to get what they wanted. They did not internalize many values that I would want my child to internalize. It was quite sad actually. That's an extreme example as most parents do not have their children on a point card or some other such overly structured method. However, I have to wonder even about sticker charts and the like. Now I'm not saying that those things never have a place. Like many things, perhaps used in moderation.

There is some research out there and some books that are on my "I'd like to read" list that delve into this subject. Here's a link to one of the books that I'd like to read. I know there's another one, but I can't remember the name.

Punished by Rewards

And back to the original post of chores and my friend's approach. I do like that there are some extra things that a child can do to make money. I strongly feel that children need some way to make money from an early age so that they can learn money management skills early under the safe guidance of their parents.

Anyways, thoughts anyone? And, to the friend who uses this approach, if I've left anything important out or you'd like to expound on your approach, feel free!

The Conference

Well, the conference was pretty great. It was long and exhausting, but in a good way. It was a bit of a challenge being at sessions with a toddler, but lots of other moms had young children with them also. I think Boo enjoyed seeing and playing with the other children. I found myself juggling attending to Boo and listening to the speakers, but I think I came away with some great information. An unintended result is that I came away with increased confidence in my ability to mother my child in a manner that is appropriate and loving.

Some of my favorite sessions were Nursing Fashionably in Public, Babywearing why and how, and The Science Behind Attachment Parenting.

I won a sling too! That was pretty exciting. I entered a raffle and won a sling. Boo seems to like it. It allows him to be on the side of me - where I'd be carrying him with my arms if I was carting him around somewhere. The babycarrier that I brought with us to the conference was my Ergo carrier. I LOVE this carrier - it's so comfortable for my back and it's my carrier of choice when I know he's going to be in there awhile. He really enjoys being on my back too. I have my homemade wrap that I never use. I figured out why at my Babywearing session. I need to cut the width of my fabric in half. It's just way too wide, which makes it incredibly cumbersome to use.

Anyways, it was a good time. It was so great to see so many other mothers wearing their children around and nursing their toddlers. Sometimes I feel a bit like the "lone ranger" because of my parenting choices. But that's a result of the culture I live in. I would fit right in other places in the world. So it was nice to feel like I "fit" for an entire weekend!

Off To My La Leche League Conference Today

As I posted previously, I'm going to a local LLL conference. I'm commuting with the local LLL leader. I'm super-excited. It will be like "mommy school", "lactation school" and some other things all rolled into one. I'm really looking forward to expanding my knowledge in the field of breastfeeding and attachment parenting. One of the sessions I signed up for is Attachment Parenting focused and it's taught by Dr. Bob Sears - Dr. William Sears' son. I'm super excited for that one. I think this will be a nice weekend to spend with Boo and to focus on my continuing education. It's something positive that I can throw my thoughts and energy into while feeling the loss of my pregnancy.

Quality of Midwifery Care

Many of you know that for my pregnancy with Elfie I went to a midwife instead of an OB. I had an OB for my pregnancy with Boo. I have to say that even though things ended badly (I miscarried), I loved the midwife that I was working with. The quality of care that I received was amazing. Early on, when I was having some issues, I called her late at night and we talked about what was going on with my body and what could possibly be happening. She explained some options to me as far as how to proceed and I went from there. What I really loved is that she explained my options to me and left the decision with me. Sometimes medical professionals have a way of telling clients what to do, rather than empowering clients to make their own decisions. Granted, there are some emergency situations where their wouldn't be time for something like that and that's when it's important to have a provider that you trust. But most medical decisions are not immediate crisis situations, even if some medical professionals try to make us feel that way!

After I miscarried my midwife gave me a big hug and gave me her condolences. She was very supportive and encouraged me to call her if I need anything. A few days later she called to see how I was doing. Her voice shook as she explained her sorrow over what had happened and how she wishes she could've done something, but knows that she couldn't have. To me that's what makes her a truly great provider - she cares. I like to think many in the medical profession care, and perhaps they do and aren't great at showing it.

Anyways, while the whole experience of having a miscarriage sucked, I have to say that the care I received was truly amazing. It was holistic, natural, and nurturing.

A Poem for Elfie

Peek-a-boo Angel Baby

Peek-a-boo baby
Oh where did you go?
Peek-a-boo baby
I long to hold you so

Tiny one, did you fly
To Heaven?
Mommy can't hold you there
But God can

Peek-a-boo baby
I'll find you someday
On a cloud, on a star
Beyond the Milky Way

Dear precious one
Until that time
Bask in God's love
Which is truly divine