Teething - a reflection

Well Boo has most of his teeth now. We bought him a teething necklace early on in life and he's worn it ever since. Now granted, it's hard to know if it worked because he's worn it pretty much ever since he started teething. But I will say, other than a few restless nights here and there I can't really remember a time when he was horribly miserable from teething. So I feel like this teething necklace actually works. I wasn't sure what I thought when I bought it, but I figured if it didn't work he'd at least have a stylish necklace!

Anyways, here's a link to the site where I bought mine. There's lots of places online to order them. This place was cheaper than some others and I'm happy with the quality of his necklace.

Inspired by Finn

Really Proud

Well, I've been hard at work this week launching my website for my business. I'm really proud of it. It's not complete and I'm sure I'll add to it as the suggestions roll in and as there's a need for more information. But here's what I have right now.

Precious Gem Childcare

You Can Say "Yes"

Just thought I'd post about something that works sometimes when Boo says "no." I tell him Boo can say "yes mommy". Sometimes he still says no. But there's quite a few times where he will say "yes mommy" and do whatever it is I'm asking him to do.

I learned this approach years ago as an infant teacher and it is much more effective overall than the familiar line "Don't you tell mommy no." I think it's because it tells the child the exact response and behavior you're looking for instead of just telling them what you don't want them to do. Hmmmm...that sounds familiar.

Anyways, it works for me enough of the time that I thought I'd share.

Passing this on for a friend

Please read this. I'm passing this information along for a friend who works with youth in Aurora. I'm asking readers to consider taking a minute to vote and help this children's soccer field get funding. Thanks!

Hi Everyone,

A couple of months ago I nominated our soccer field to get a $15,000 renovation through Kellogs Frosted Flakes Plant a Seed Campaign. Out of 3500 fields that were nominated, we made it to the semifinals as one of the top 100 fields. Out of those top 100 fields 30 will receive the grand prize. I need your help to make this happen. 50% of our total score comes from how many votes we receive for our field from the public -thats you --- please follow the instructions below and vote to support our field of dreams. Thank you so much for your vote and support it means alot to me but more importantly to the children we serve.

•go to www.frostedflakes.com

Wait until box appears that says “Vote Now & Help Us Decide Where”

Click on those words

• click on “vote now” in the center of the screen where Tony the Tiger is

• Enter Aurora Township Youth Soccer Fields under “field name” & click search

• Field should appear in upper left corner, click on “see more info”

•scroll down to bottom of screen

• select “vote for this field” – enter you birth date and hit submit – enter your email and the code shown and hit submit – vote every day as our final score is based on how many votes we can accumulate –it is 50% of our total score

• You may “send to a friend” or “add a comment if you like”

Thanks again


Vicki Marques
Associate Director
Aurora Township Youth Services

Anger Management for Parents

I thought I'd follow up all of the discipline idea posts with some ideas on anger management. Let's face it. Even when we have the best intentions, our discipline method/style becomes inappropriate and/or harsh when we let anger get the best of us and don't maintain our self- control. So I decided to search the internet for anger management ideas for parents.

When Mom Has a Temper Tantrum

Managing Your Own Anger

I'd post more, but my toddler is starting to pull all of the books off of my bookshelf. Gotta run!

Permissive parenting v. gentle discipline

This is going to be a little blurb. I'm not up for a huge blog entry today. But I know that some are concerned that not using spanking and/or time-outs seems permissive. Let me be clear. There is a difference between permissive parenting and gentle discipline.

In a permissive household, parents tend to avoid conflict at all cost. Discipline and limits are often missing.

Here's a simple example. Child has been given two cookies for dessert. Child wants more - big suprise there. Child wines, stomps feet, and cries "cookieeeeee." A permissive parent would give the child another cookie in order to avoid the conflict. A parent who uses gentle discipline would let the child know that they can't have another cookie. Personally, I would keep it simple and say something like, "I know you want another cookie. I'm sorry. No more cookies." I'd probably repeat "no more cookies" a couple of times while my little one cries for "cookie." I might try distraction. Although, I've found that once my little one makes up his mind for another cookie he's nearly impossible to distract. If he won't be distracted then I may simply remind him "no more cookie" and turn my attention elsewhere. It doesn't take long for him to get over it. I don't try to reason with him, persuade him, etc... He's not even two - that would go nowhere! I just let it be and he's over it quickly.

Now granted, there are a lot of parenting issues that come up that seem larger than this cookie situation. But gentle discipline can be used in all kinds of situations to set limits. The difference between gentle discipline and permissive parenting is that there is a limit and the parent is willing to set it.

Another example is a toddler who repeatedly stands on the coffee table when that's not allowed in this house. Some might view this as outright disobedience and spank after they've had to remove the child several times - this would be more authoritarian in approach. Personally, I would not feel the need to punish as toddlers routinely test boundaries and also routinely forget instructions. It's part of their developmental level. However, the limit is still there. What this means is that I personally must get off my butt everytime the toddler is on the table and physically remove the toddler from the table. Usually I pair this with a verbal reminder of "feet go on the floor." I also look for ways to distract toddler and get the toddler involved in something other than climbing back onto the coffee table. A permissive parent would let the toddler stand on the table in order to avoid the conflict.

Anyways, I didn't expound as much as I'd like to, but I'm just a little tired this week. But I did want to write something about this as I know that gentle discipline is not permissive in nature.

Toddler Discipline

Here's a couple of articles that I thought were good regarding toddlers:

Discipline for Toddlers

This next one is a great list of ideas. Some of them I've already tried, but I got some new ideas from reading this.

Ideas for Toddlers

I like the idea of teaching a toddler how to "touch" with just an index finger. I thought that was a great strategy. Usually Boo is allowed to touch and grab or not at all, but teaching him how to lightly touch with an index finger would help him to satisfy curiosity without putting whatever breakable object at risk. I'm thinking of his Grandma and Papa's house here. Talk about breakables everywhere. Good grief! :)

#7 in the touch category was also great. I'm great at saying "That's not for Boo", but not great with the follow-up of showing him what he can have. Sometimes I do, but I'm not nearly as consistent and good at that as I could be. Honestly, a lot of the time it's out of sheer laziness! Sometimes I don't want to get off the couch and find him something that he can have. Granted, this is not usually at home. Since I do home daycare, pretty much everything within reach in the downstairs of our home is for him. But this happens more when we're out and about, at relatives, in the community, etc...

#1 in the stopping activity section has worked well for me. When we go to the park Boo says "bye bye" to the park, the swings, etc...I use this pretty much every time we leave somewhere that he's been enjoying himself. So far it's worked really well. Of course I'm probably jinxing it now.

#5 in that same category is a good one. For example, when I tell Boo and my daycare kiddo to "clean up toys", they'll sometimes sit and look at me and continue playing. I usually get much better cooperation when it's "Let's clean up so we can go outside, eat lunch, fill in the blank." Granted, this doesn't always work. And there's not always something that will be rewarding to them afterwards. Sometimes we clean up just to clean up and we're not going anywhere or eating anything. The clean up song helps, but even that's not guaranteed. I've found sometimes I have to physically hold their hands, use hand over hand to help them pick up a toy and put it in a basket. Then, with that level of help, they'll often jump in and pick up. And then sometimes, I get no help at all and I just model picking up the toys while they play. With an older child, of course I would be comfortable with some sort of logical consequence for not picking up toys, but with toddlers I'm comfortable just modeling the appropriate behavior for now.

Anyways, I won't go on and on, but I thought the article had a lot of neat ideas. I'm definitely going to try some of them that I haven't tried yet.

I plan to write a blog entry on natural/logical consequences and how it is different from permissive parenting. However, my brain is feeling too tired for that right now. I want to do the topic justice. So in the meantime enjoy these additional links.