And now a post that does not talk about pregnancy and/or home birth the entire time - it's been awhile!
I realize that it's such a mom thing to say, but I have to say it. I'm so proud of my little Boo. He's nearly four years old and already he has the neatest little personality. I have been so amazed by him lately.
His capacity for love is astounding. Out of the blue he runs up to me and wraps his arms around my belly and says with the most beautiful smile, "I love you baby". Often he follows this up with a kiss for my belly. We talk all the time about how he's going to be a big brother. I tell him what a good big brother he is and he usually replies, "I am." He is a deeply sensitive soul. This can be trying at times, but it's also what makes him so loving and nurturing. He has this built in need to try to take care of mommy. Last night when we were headed up to bed he insisted on holding my hand all the way up the stairs "so that you won't fall". When I told him I was making brownies he told me "Be careful. Don't cut yourself." This is because I actually did cut myself cutting up some chocolate mint leaves for a batch of brownies a few weeks ago.
He also loves his extended family very much. He talks about Auntie Malissa, Uncle Charlie, all of his cousins, Auntie Maggie, Auntie Carey, and of course Grandma and Grandpa nonstop. He adores all of them.
His current favorite things to do are playing Mario Kart on the Wii with daddy and/or mommy, building with his legos and/or his wooden blocks, hanging from the bars of his new bunk bed like the little monkey that he is, and playing with his letters. He's loving his new superhero bedroom. Right now he has it broken in and it looks very much how one would expect a little boy's room to look - legos strewn all over the floor with things half built here and there. He has a magnetic chalkboard on his closet doors that daddy made when we painted his room and Boo loves to draw with his chalk and move his magnetic letters around. Poor man is getting frustrated with letters because he wants to spell and make real words so badly, but he's not quite there yet. He's constantly putting letters together and asking me what words they make. When I tell him that it doesn't make a word he gets frustrated. So to serve his interest in this area, I've started exploring starfall.com with him and going through some of the phonics activities and he really enjoys doing some of those together.
He's very curious and inquisitive and this can lead to a lot of frustration - for everybody! He's that kid that you just never know what he might try. Especially in new situations where the rules are not yet solidly established, it's hard to know when/where he will run. That can be a bit challenging and sometimes downright scary! But as he nears four I'm seeing more of a response from him and a glimmer of hope that this crazy, bouncy, rambunctious boy will follow safety rules and stop giving his parents near heart attacks every few minutes when we're out and about!
It's definitely been a challenge to learn how to parent this wildly lovable and energetic little man of ours. Especially in wanting to stick to gentle discipline, it can be really trying at times. There are times where I get so frustrated and upset in the moment that I'm anything but gentle. But we keep plodding along in that department. And I have a feeling that even if we were inclined to something punitive it wouldn't work anyways. He strikes me as one of those kiddos that you could swat until you're blue in the face and he'd still go right on getting into things, running away in public, and, well, just being a little bit of crazy all the time! And I really love his confidence and yes, even his wild spirit. I wouldn't want to break that down in any way - just continue to work on guiding it so that it doesn't get him into trouble!
Friday, June 17, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
A Different Kind of Party
Well here I am at 37 1/2 weeks preggo and my home birth is just around the corner. It feels crazy at times because everything is going to be so different from my son's birth. Different in a good way for sure, but this is all very uncharted territory. One thing that's going to be a different experience is the number of people that are going to be around. For my son's birth it was just T and I - no friends/family around during active labor. This time around we have chosen several family members/friends to share in this little one's birth day. Even though it's going to be different I could not be more happy about the special people that are going to be there. I feel like we have the right mix of personalities to be around during such a special occasion. Each person is contributing to the occasion in their own unique way. My mother is going to be Boo's caretaker and source of comfort. She's been a huge part of his life and he stays the night with grandma on a pretty regular basis, so she is the perfect person for the job. Boo is excited about being here when baby comes, but he admits that he's a little bit scared. My mom's nurturing personality will be just the comfort he will likely need at times. My cousin is going to be birth photographer extraordinaire. She's very artistic and I have no doubt that she'll take some great pictures of our experience. Also, she's a lifelong friend and someone who will be of invaluable comfort to me during the experience. She knows how to be encouraging and how to believe in people. She'll be the right combination of nurturing and "suck it up - you can do this" (I mean that in a good way) mentality. My sister-in-law is well, like a sister to me. I didn't know she was going to be joining the party until more recently and I've felt nothing but relief and excitement on knowing that she will be here. She has just the right amount of calm and practicality to her personality that I know she will be of invaluable assistance for anything that needs to happen while I'm birthing. She's that solid rock type of personality that you can count on when things need to happen. She's also someone who will know how to be comforting and nurturing in a very non-invasive way. I really just couldn't be more thrilled our choices. It will be a positive and empowering experience for all I believe. And what better way to welcome our little one than in the presence of family that will be there to adore him/her!
As the pre-labor signs progress (nothing serious people - don't start calling - I'm not going into labor right now or anything) I get more and more excited about the process. I feel so lucky to have such wonderful people in my life to share in the joy of this little one's birthing day!
As the pre-labor signs progress (nothing serious people - don't start calling - I'm not going into labor right now or anything) I get more and more excited about the process. I feel so lucky to have such wonderful people in my life to share in the joy of this little one's birthing day!
Friday, June 3, 2011
Little Bit of This and That
Well, I feel as though I need to get something out in the blogosphere. I don't think this will be an earth shattering blog, not like any of mine are, but you know what I mean.
This morning I have the privilege of having a day off of work. Hurray me! My midwife is coming for her home visit today. She offered to come later, but I decided to have it earlier. One, I wanted to make it more convenient for her to come, and two, I wanted a freaking day off of work! Oh the lovely vacation day, how sweet it is!
Last night I cleaned like crazy. I had a bit of rearranging to do in the daycare room as my furniture that I bought with some grant money for my daycare came in. So of course everything had to be moved around to accommodate the new stuff. I'm hoping the new arrangement works out. I got most of the baseboards scrubbed and surfaces wiped down, the couch swept, my foamy cushion cleaned up, and it felt great! I still need to clear off the table and wipe down one corner of the room. Also, I spied some handprints on the windows, so I guess I will attack the windows with some cleaner. Ah - nesting - hello - my house needs you. Do you ever notice that when you do deep cleaning, the more you do the dirtier everything looks? I'm just appalled by the filth that we're currently living with. I was able to get my bathroom scrubbed yesterday during naptime and that felt wonderful.
Now I just need to attack the rest of the house with as much fervor. Instead I'm blogging, sipping coffee, and thinking about the luxurious shower that I'm going to take in a few minutes. My back is yelling at me a bit, but I hope to at least finish the daycare room and work on scrubbing down my kitchen. There's just so many piles everywhere. Does anyone else live with PBD (pile build-up disorder)? No matter how many times you clear the same spots over and over the piles just come back? And they grow from one flat surface to another until you have no table space, no kitchen counters, no desk space, you get the idea. It's a very huge problem in our house and has been for years. I can't seem to get rid of it! Perhaps there is some secret that I have yet to stumble upon?
Anyways, I'm looking forward to later today. My cousin and great friend is treating me and my little one to lunch and then we're going to come back here, watch the kiddos run around and play in the yard and the kiddie pool, and just relax. Preggo might have to take a turn in the kiddie pool as it's supposed to get up to 92 degrees today. Yikes! I guess I won't be working in the garden today. I'm hoping to drag my butt out of bed early tomorrow and tackle the garden before it warms up outside. The weeds are out of control! Anyways, I digressed. This great friend has moved here recently from a far away land and I think this is the first time we're going to get to hang for a bit where we're not so rushed for one reason or another. I think we've both had a hectic few weeks, so it'll feel good just to have time to plop down and be and catch up! There's nothing so soothing to the soul as time with a good friend!
I plan to work on my birth basket this weekend, even if that means running out and buying stuff I can't afford right now. I just need it done - for my own mental sanity. Not to mention that as of Sunday I'll be 37 weeks - fair game for my home birth should I go into labor at any point. I also should probably pack a hospital bag in case of transfer. And we need to clean out our car and get the infant seat installed. Also, we still need to finish up Boo's room and I have piles upon piles upon piles of clean laundry to put away in our bedroom before we can even begin to put the cosleeper up. I actually chipped away at the laundry piles the other night, but they're so huge that it doesn't look like I did anything. Don't you love that?
Anyways, wow, this post has turned into some kind of online to do list! I'm sure everyone was just dying to know everything I need to get done!
T has had clinicals for his CNA class all week. He's enjoying them and doing well. It seems that many of the residents as well as the staff really like him. I'm excited for him. He's seen so much success since starting on his journey towards nursing. It's been good for him to experience that and I'm very proud of him to have the courage to break out of a dead end job and walk the tightrope that is the midlife career change. It's not an easy road by any means. We've had several obstacles so far, some in the near future, and some unknowns that will continue to pop up along the way. It's been hard and stressful, but every time I imagine attending his college graduation my eyes start to get weepy. Of course, that could just be the pregnancy hormones! Probably not though - there's something so heartwarming about seeing someone you love succeed and getting to be a small part of that.
So this post I guess turned into a mish mash of everything I guess. Very random - exactly the pointless posting I'm trying to avoid. Oh well - can I blame preggo brain yet again?
This morning I have the privilege of having a day off of work. Hurray me! My midwife is coming for her home visit today. She offered to come later, but I decided to have it earlier. One, I wanted to make it more convenient for her to come, and two, I wanted a freaking day off of work! Oh the lovely vacation day, how sweet it is!
Last night I cleaned like crazy. I had a bit of rearranging to do in the daycare room as my furniture that I bought with some grant money for my daycare came in. So of course everything had to be moved around to accommodate the new stuff. I'm hoping the new arrangement works out. I got most of the baseboards scrubbed and surfaces wiped down, the couch swept, my foamy cushion cleaned up, and it felt great! I still need to clear off the table and wipe down one corner of the room. Also, I spied some handprints on the windows, so I guess I will attack the windows with some cleaner. Ah - nesting - hello - my house needs you. Do you ever notice that when you do deep cleaning, the more you do the dirtier everything looks? I'm just appalled by the filth that we're currently living with. I was able to get my bathroom scrubbed yesterday during naptime and that felt wonderful.
Now I just need to attack the rest of the house with as much fervor. Instead I'm blogging, sipping coffee, and thinking about the luxurious shower that I'm going to take in a few minutes. My back is yelling at me a bit, but I hope to at least finish the daycare room and work on scrubbing down my kitchen. There's just so many piles everywhere. Does anyone else live with PBD (pile build-up disorder)? No matter how many times you clear the same spots over and over the piles just come back? And they grow from one flat surface to another until you have no table space, no kitchen counters, no desk space, you get the idea. It's a very huge problem in our house and has been for years. I can't seem to get rid of it! Perhaps there is some secret that I have yet to stumble upon?
Anyways, I'm looking forward to later today. My cousin and great friend is treating me and my little one to lunch and then we're going to come back here, watch the kiddos run around and play in the yard and the kiddie pool, and just relax. Preggo might have to take a turn in the kiddie pool as it's supposed to get up to 92 degrees today. Yikes! I guess I won't be working in the garden today. I'm hoping to drag my butt out of bed early tomorrow and tackle the garden before it warms up outside. The weeds are out of control! Anyways, I digressed. This great friend has moved here recently from a far away land and I think this is the first time we're going to get to hang for a bit where we're not so rushed for one reason or another. I think we've both had a hectic few weeks, so it'll feel good just to have time to plop down and be and catch up! There's nothing so soothing to the soul as time with a good friend!
I plan to work on my birth basket this weekend, even if that means running out and buying stuff I can't afford right now. I just need it done - for my own mental sanity. Not to mention that as of Sunday I'll be 37 weeks - fair game for my home birth should I go into labor at any point. I also should probably pack a hospital bag in case of transfer. And we need to clean out our car and get the infant seat installed. Also, we still need to finish up Boo's room and I have piles upon piles upon piles of clean laundry to put away in our bedroom before we can even begin to put the cosleeper up. I actually chipped away at the laundry piles the other night, but they're so huge that it doesn't look like I did anything. Don't you love that?
Anyways, wow, this post has turned into some kind of online to do list! I'm sure everyone was just dying to know everything I need to get done!
T has had clinicals for his CNA class all week. He's enjoying them and doing well. It seems that many of the residents as well as the staff really like him. I'm excited for him. He's seen so much success since starting on his journey towards nursing. It's been good for him to experience that and I'm very proud of him to have the courage to break out of a dead end job and walk the tightrope that is the midlife career change. It's not an easy road by any means. We've had several obstacles so far, some in the near future, and some unknowns that will continue to pop up along the way. It's been hard and stressful, but every time I imagine attending his college graduation my eyes start to get weepy. Of course, that could just be the pregnancy hormones! Probably not though - there's something so heartwarming about seeing someone you love succeed and getting to be a small part of that.
So this post I guess turned into a mish mash of everything I guess. Very random - exactly the pointless posting I'm trying to avoid. Oh well - can I blame preggo brain yet again?
Monday, May 23, 2011
Up and At 'Em
Well, I've got the up part right at least. I'm awake. I'm munching on my cereal and giving serious thought to some coffee this morning.
Yesterday was a good day. I got out of the house with my family for a bit and that felt wonderful, even if all we did was go downtown for a bit. I picked up some shampoo from the local natural health store and some incense while hubby sat at the bakery and studied his CNA stuff. Let me tell you, it's fun trying to explore different shampoo options with a three year old boy. I pretty much had to hold him down in a straight jacket sort of way while I scooted along the floor looking reading the various labels on the bottom shelf. Oy - his love of running, knocking things off of shelves, and just being a general pill really gets to me some days. Last night I left the Oxi-clean bucket on the cart in the kitchen while I was working on laundry and my son apparently thought that our dog Wally needed some Oxi-clean in his food container. A good third full food container. So, needless to say, hubby had to run out super early this morning before his CNA class and buy a brand new bag of dog food. And of course like clockwork he comes home with the wrong food...again. Our dog keeps getting switched foods for this reason. *sigh* Do I sound grumpy? I am. I'm grumpy in all of my almost 9 months pregnant glory. Anyways, I started out saying that yesterday was a good day. And it was. I finally got little man's hair cut. He's been needing one for oh, I don't know, a month or so. He was kind of starting to resemble a sheep dog. Poor little man's were hanging down past his eyes and he was getting called a girl left and right. Ummm...oops. So we got his haircut. He got to have chocolate while I cut his hair. He left a big chunk on the floor which I promptly forgot about before I let the dog out to play. So between the chocolate and the Oxi-clean it seems that we're trying to kill off our dog. So I'm really hoping that our dog doesn't develop diarrhea today because all I really need is to have to bend over and clean dog crap out of a crate periodically throughout today. Anyways, back to yesterday. I got loads upon loads of laundry done. See, I was just hoping the rapture would happen and that I wouldn't actually have to do the laundry. Bummer. I probably did 5 or 6 loads yesterday. Now I just need to get them upstairs with the mounds of clean clothes that need to be put away. That's the part of laundry that I never seem to get to, but I'm really tired of digging for clothes. I'm sick of the fact that I've been unable to wear some of my cute maternity clothes because they're too buried in clean clothes upstairs and I can never find what I want to get dressed in the morning. Ugh - I've launched into whining again. Maybe grumpy pregnant people should be banned from blogging! Anyways, my back is currently saying "thank you" to me for all of the bending and reaching that accompanies countless loads of laundry. I have a pile of dishes, at least some of which is going to need to be done if I must feed children all day long. And I must - I expect their parents wouldn't be too happy with me if I decided not to feed them so as not to create more dirty dishes! I did buy paper plates to help me get through hubby's second crazy week of his CNA class, which is causing him to be completely unavailable. I just wish I had thought to buy paper cups. I had a thought last night as I was thinking how overwhelmed I am right now as to how single moms do everything for themselves and children day in and day out and work full-time. All I can say is I'm not worthy and I'd drown in depression I think if I had to try. This place is still difficult to keep up with when hubby is around to lend a hand. But it seems impossible when he's not. But perhaps it's just me - perhaps I haven't learned how to be efficient enough, hardworking enough, or fill in the blank. I don't know. I go back and forth between feeling sorry for my bloaty, achy pregnant self and thinking that I just need to push harder and it would all get done.
All in all, I wish fairy godmothers really existed - the good kind in Cinderella, not the evil wench in Shrek. I'd call her up and with a bit of bippity boppity boo my house would be spotless, the birth basket would be ready, everything would be scrubbed, newborn cloth diapers would be prepped, and I'd be ready to get my birthing on!
Yesterday was a good day. I got out of the house with my family for a bit and that felt wonderful, even if all we did was go downtown for a bit. I picked up some shampoo from the local natural health store and some incense while hubby sat at the bakery and studied his CNA stuff. Let me tell you, it's fun trying to explore different shampoo options with a three year old boy. I pretty much had to hold him down in a straight jacket sort of way while I scooted along the floor looking reading the various labels on the bottom shelf. Oy - his love of running, knocking things off of shelves, and just being a general pill really gets to me some days. Last night I left the Oxi-clean bucket on the cart in the kitchen while I was working on laundry and my son apparently thought that our dog Wally needed some Oxi-clean in his food container. A good third full food container. So, needless to say, hubby had to run out super early this morning before his CNA class and buy a brand new bag of dog food. And of course like clockwork he comes home with the wrong food...again. Our dog keeps getting switched foods for this reason. *sigh* Do I sound grumpy? I am. I'm grumpy in all of my almost 9 months pregnant glory. Anyways, I started out saying that yesterday was a good day. And it was. I finally got little man's hair cut. He's been needing one for oh, I don't know, a month or so. He was kind of starting to resemble a sheep dog. Poor little man's were hanging down past his eyes and he was getting called a girl left and right. Ummm...oops. So we got his haircut. He got to have chocolate while I cut his hair. He left a big chunk on the floor which I promptly forgot about before I let the dog out to play. So between the chocolate and the Oxi-clean it seems that we're trying to kill off our dog. So I'm really hoping that our dog doesn't develop diarrhea today because all I really need is to have to bend over and clean dog crap out of a crate periodically throughout today. Anyways, back to yesterday. I got loads upon loads of laundry done. See, I was just hoping the rapture would happen and that I wouldn't actually have to do the laundry. Bummer. I probably did 5 or 6 loads yesterday. Now I just need to get them upstairs with the mounds of clean clothes that need to be put away. That's the part of laundry that I never seem to get to, but I'm really tired of digging for clothes. I'm sick of the fact that I've been unable to wear some of my cute maternity clothes because they're too buried in clean clothes upstairs and I can never find what I want to get dressed in the morning. Ugh - I've launched into whining again. Maybe grumpy pregnant people should be banned from blogging! Anyways, my back is currently saying "thank you" to me for all of the bending and reaching that accompanies countless loads of laundry. I have a pile of dishes, at least some of which is going to need to be done if I must feed children all day long. And I must - I expect their parents wouldn't be too happy with me if I decided not to feed them so as not to create more dirty dishes! I did buy paper plates to help me get through hubby's second crazy week of his CNA class, which is causing him to be completely unavailable. I just wish I had thought to buy paper cups. I had a thought last night as I was thinking how overwhelmed I am right now as to how single moms do everything for themselves and children day in and day out and work full-time. All I can say is I'm not worthy and I'd drown in depression I think if I had to try. This place is still difficult to keep up with when hubby is around to lend a hand. But it seems impossible when he's not. But perhaps it's just me - perhaps I haven't learned how to be efficient enough, hardworking enough, or fill in the blank. I don't know. I go back and forth between feeling sorry for my bloaty, achy pregnant self and thinking that I just need to push harder and it would all get done.
All in all, I wish fairy godmothers really existed - the good kind in Cinderella, not the evil wench in Shrek. I'd call her up and with a bit of bippity boppity boo my house would be spotless, the birth basket would be ready, everything would be scrubbed, newborn cloth diapers would be prepped, and I'd be ready to get my birthing on!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
I Am Woman - I Can Birth
My birth pool came was delivered yesterday. I haven't had a chance to take it out and set it up yet. We'll be doing our practice run this weekend hopefully. But I did look at the instructions and I got a bit, well, excited. Yes, excited to give birth! I feel as though I've gone through a slight transformation this pregnancy. I entered pregnancy knowing that I wanted to do things differently and knowing that I wanted a home birth. But I still had apprehension and nagging doubts about my abilities - my ability to handle this, my body's ability to work right, etc...I took a lovely birth class as a way of boosting my confidence and I have to say that I really think it helped. Also, I've been going through the Hypnobabies home study course thanks to a friend who lent it to me and I LOVE it. Part of the course is listening to a positive affirmations track every day. I've been able to keep up with this most days. I feel this has been very powerful for me - hearing over and over about how my birth is going to be wonderful, my baby is going to come easily, everything will go right, etc...It's gotten me into a good head space. Obviously, birth comes with no guarantees, but having a calm and peaceful frame of mind will only be of benefit should I need to be more flexible with my plans during the birthing day.
This birth is going to be different in other ways too. With my son it was only my husband and I around, well, along with the medical staff anyways. This time my oldest friend, who I just adore to pieces, will be photographing my birth for me. My mom will be on "Boo duty" so that he is able to stay and be a part of the experience as much or as little as he wants. I like that my hubby won't have to worry about snapping pictures this time around and he can just be. Be whatever I need him to be in each moment. There will of course be the midwife and her assistant. I'm kind of excited that I might know the assistant coming. Provided she's available when I go into labor, the assistant will actually be the woman who taught my birth class. I'm actually pretty excited about that. So I kind of feel like I should buy some party hats or something. It feels like a huge group to me, but in reality there's probably still fewer people overall than there were when I labored in the hospital. I think it feels bigger because it's more people that I know. But I'm really okay with it and of course I'm reserving the right to tell anyone extra "Nevermind. Go home," if that's what needs to happen. I don't think that will be the case - but hey, a laboring woman can do anything she wants when it comes to those sorts of things!
I'm excited because I realize that I've come from a state of mind where I apprehensively wanted this home birth, but still felt nervous to a point where I'm excited about it and ready to hop in the birthing pool now. I feel calm and powerful and well, like a woman!
This birth is going to be different in other ways too. With my son it was only my husband and I around, well, along with the medical staff anyways. This time my oldest friend, who I just adore to pieces, will be photographing my birth for me. My mom will be on "Boo duty" so that he is able to stay and be a part of the experience as much or as little as he wants. I like that my hubby won't have to worry about snapping pictures this time around and he can just be. Be whatever I need him to be in each moment. There will of course be the midwife and her assistant. I'm kind of excited that I might know the assistant coming. Provided she's available when I go into labor, the assistant will actually be the woman who taught my birth class. I'm actually pretty excited about that. So I kind of feel like I should buy some party hats or something. It feels like a huge group to me, but in reality there's probably still fewer people overall than there were when I labored in the hospital. I think it feels bigger because it's more people that I know. But I'm really okay with it and of course I'm reserving the right to tell anyone extra "Nevermind. Go home," if that's what needs to happen. I don't think that will be the case - but hey, a laboring woman can do anything she wants when it comes to those sorts of things!
I'm excited because I realize that I've come from a state of mind where I apprehensively wanted this home birth, but still felt nervous to a point where I'm excited about it and ready to hop in the birthing pool now. I feel calm and powerful and well, like a woman!
Monday, May 16, 2011
I Am Still Here
I really really miss blogging, but my energy and focus has been lacking lately. As I've been trying hard to decrease the number of rambly blog posts and increase posts with focus and a point, I've just stayed away from my blog altogether. However, it's been so long that I feel I must write something, even if it's rambly, anticlimactic, and devoid of anything informative and/or useful.
I guess I'll start with a quick run-down of what's been going on in my life. I'm now 34 weeks pregnant. For baby's health I want baby to "bake" as long as possible. But I do admit that I find myself longing for a 38 or 39 week baby at times, even though I don't really mean it. I'm just so ready to be done. I think pregnancy is amazing and I do enjoy the process for the most part. It's just the last few months that are not so enjoyable. I will say that I feel less miserable at this stage in my pregnancy than I felt during this stage with my son. I've been very active - running the daycare, creating a bedroom for Boo, trying to complete various projects around the house, attempting to keep up with the housework, and creating my garden. I'm upright and moving around most of the day and actually I'm sure that this has decreased my misery. It's crazy how that works sometimes. I had a training on Saturday for daycare during which I had to sit for 6 hours straight. I went prepared with my birth ball. I fidgeted the entire time, shifting from my birth ball to the chair to the floor and everything in between, but that one day of sitting felt worse than three days of daycare. I was an exhausted and miserable mess at the end of it. I was also a grump all weekend as a result. It took me the entire weekend of lying around to feel rested from that much sitting. Weird, huh?
Boo's bedroom is almost done. Almost. I wish I could say it was done. Oh I really really wish I could. It makes me crazy that it's not. It is coming together. The painting is done. The magnetic chalkboard closet doors are completed. The bed needs to be finished - it's getting there. The carpets need a good cleaning. They seriously haven't been cleaned since we moved in June of 2010. The entire floor of this room was covered with boxes for so long that I couldn't even get to the floor to vacuum it. So I'm looking forward to giving the floor a good vacuum. We have a table and chairs set that we're likely going to order for the room. Boo is very excited. He's watched the progress every step of the way. Originally I wanted to shut off the room and do a big reveal at the end and surprise him, but it makes him so happy to be a part of the process that we've been showing him every step of the way instead. He's very excited about the super hero bedroom - a little less excited when I explained to him that mommy was not planning on sleeping on one level of the bunk bed. But I'm sure he'll adjust to his bed as he's ready. We're not so worried about the actual sleeping in his room part. That will come with time. I'll just be so excited when the toys that I keep tripping over in our family room are no longer there because they have a bedroom to go to. I'm tired tired tired of the clutter in the family room and we just can't begin to do anything about it until his room is done!
One of my favorite people has moved back to the area and getting to see her a few times has been so uplifting, even though it's been rushed and when I've been tired. We're both so busy right now - she with relocating and me with various projects plus a grant program for the daycare that's consuming some extra time right now. So I look forward to spending less harried time with her as I know that will be so soothing to my soul - good friends always are!
So, I'm still here trying to keep my focus on one day at a time as it'd be really easy to get overwhelmed with everything right now if I try to think about it all at once. I don't know how much blogging I'll do in the weeks to come, but I hope to keep from disappearing completely anyways.
I guess I'll start with a quick run-down of what's been going on in my life. I'm now 34 weeks pregnant. For baby's health I want baby to "bake" as long as possible. But I do admit that I find myself longing for a 38 or 39 week baby at times, even though I don't really mean it. I'm just so ready to be done. I think pregnancy is amazing and I do enjoy the process for the most part. It's just the last few months that are not so enjoyable. I will say that I feel less miserable at this stage in my pregnancy than I felt during this stage with my son. I've been very active - running the daycare, creating a bedroom for Boo, trying to complete various projects around the house, attempting to keep up with the housework, and creating my garden. I'm upright and moving around most of the day and actually I'm sure that this has decreased my misery. It's crazy how that works sometimes. I had a training on Saturday for daycare during which I had to sit for 6 hours straight. I went prepared with my birth ball. I fidgeted the entire time, shifting from my birth ball to the chair to the floor and everything in between, but that one day of sitting felt worse than three days of daycare. I was an exhausted and miserable mess at the end of it. I was also a grump all weekend as a result. It took me the entire weekend of lying around to feel rested from that much sitting. Weird, huh?
Boo's bedroom is almost done. Almost. I wish I could say it was done. Oh I really really wish I could. It makes me crazy that it's not. It is coming together. The painting is done. The magnetic chalkboard closet doors are completed. The bed needs to be finished - it's getting there. The carpets need a good cleaning. They seriously haven't been cleaned since we moved in June of 2010. The entire floor of this room was covered with boxes for so long that I couldn't even get to the floor to vacuum it. So I'm looking forward to giving the floor a good vacuum. We have a table and chairs set that we're likely going to order for the room. Boo is very excited. He's watched the progress every step of the way. Originally I wanted to shut off the room and do a big reveal at the end and surprise him, but it makes him so happy to be a part of the process that we've been showing him every step of the way instead. He's very excited about the super hero bedroom - a little less excited when I explained to him that mommy was not planning on sleeping on one level of the bunk bed. But I'm sure he'll adjust to his bed as he's ready. We're not so worried about the actual sleeping in his room part. That will come with time. I'll just be so excited when the toys that I keep tripping over in our family room are no longer there because they have a bedroom to go to. I'm tired tired tired of the clutter in the family room and we just can't begin to do anything about it until his room is done!
One of my favorite people has moved back to the area and getting to see her a few times has been so uplifting, even though it's been rushed and when I've been tired. We're both so busy right now - she with relocating and me with various projects plus a grant program for the daycare that's consuming some extra time right now. So I look forward to spending less harried time with her as I know that will be so soothing to my soul - good friends always are!
So, I'm still here trying to keep my focus on one day at a time as it'd be really easy to get overwhelmed with everything right now if I try to think about it all at once. I don't know how much blogging I'll do in the weeks to come, but I hope to keep from disappearing completely anyways.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
A Good Read on Praise
Behavior Modification: Praise
I've been meaning to post a link to this for awhile. For the past year or so I've been working extremely hard on cutting out non-stop praise to my child. This has been a hard habit to break. My journey started after reading the book Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn. This is one of those books that I will likely need to reread several times and perhaps smack myself with it a few times in order for the concepts to sink in. What I love about this book is that it's not another compilation of parenting techniques and/or methods of coercing a child into right behavior. This book introduces a complete paradigm shift on parenting and the role of a parent in a child's life. I'd highly recommend this for anyone, even if the end result is that a person doesn't agree with anything. This is one of those books that really causes you to think about how you're raising your children and why you're doing it the way that you are. I think the thing that I love is also the thing that makes this book difficult. It's not a step by step how to book on parenting. A person won't read this and know exactly what to do in a given parenting situation. Rather, reading this book will cause a parent to think differently about the situation at hand. It's very challenging and has probably been one of the books that has helped me the most in terms of shifting out of rewards/consequences parenting that is based on behavioral methods.
I think Hippie Housewife made some great points in her blog. I've definitely seen praise in action. As someone who trained and worked in the field of child development, I was taught to deliver a nonstop stream of praise to children. As an infant teacher I would praise a child, "Good job putting the triangle in the hole!" This sounds harmless, but here's what I've come to realize. Prior to the praise the child was hard at work figuring out the shape sorter toy. The little gears were turning in his head and he was intent on exploring the different shapes and shaped holes. Once praise enters the picture, the child has stopped focusing on the shape sorter and is now focusing on me and my reaction. Rather than continuing to work and experiencing the internal joy of figuring things out, the child is now excited by my reaction. It's easy for me to see how an ongoing pattern of such interruptions to a child's activities could cause a child to look to others for rewards as opposed to being satisfied with internal feelings of satisfaction. Another example I can think of is when I worked in a residential care facility where children were brought up on point cards and awarded positive points for "good" behaviors. I can tell you that I saw many of these seemingly "good" children engaged in completely different behaviors when no one was looking. Those children who had been at the facility a long time and had years of this sort of training seemed to lack very basic internal motivation to behave morally. This is a more extreme example, but still the result of constant external motivators nonetheless.
It is very hard though. I catch myself saying to Boo things like, "What a great drawing!" and "Good job building with blocks!" all the time. No, they're not inherently evil things to say, but better responses would focus on what he drew and discussing his drawing with him. "You used a lot of blue in that spot," or in block building "You put two towers on that castle."
I am as always a work in progress as a mother. This is one of those habits that is extremely hard to break, but I will keep trying!
I've been meaning to post a link to this for awhile. For the past year or so I've been working extremely hard on cutting out non-stop praise to my child. This has been a hard habit to break. My journey started after reading the book Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn. This is one of those books that I will likely need to reread several times and perhaps smack myself with it a few times in order for the concepts to sink in. What I love about this book is that it's not another compilation of parenting techniques and/or methods of coercing a child into right behavior. This book introduces a complete paradigm shift on parenting and the role of a parent in a child's life. I'd highly recommend this for anyone, even if the end result is that a person doesn't agree with anything. This is one of those books that really causes you to think about how you're raising your children and why you're doing it the way that you are. I think the thing that I love is also the thing that makes this book difficult. It's not a step by step how to book on parenting. A person won't read this and know exactly what to do in a given parenting situation. Rather, reading this book will cause a parent to think differently about the situation at hand. It's very challenging and has probably been one of the books that has helped me the most in terms of shifting out of rewards/consequences parenting that is based on behavioral methods.
I think Hippie Housewife made some great points in her blog. I've definitely seen praise in action. As someone who trained and worked in the field of child development, I was taught to deliver a nonstop stream of praise to children. As an infant teacher I would praise a child, "Good job putting the triangle in the hole!" This sounds harmless, but here's what I've come to realize. Prior to the praise the child was hard at work figuring out the shape sorter toy. The little gears were turning in his head and he was intent on exploring the different shapes and shaped holes. Once praise enters the picture, the child has stopped focusing on the shape sorter and is now focusing on me and my reaction. Rather than continuing to work and experiencing the internal joy of figuring things out, the child is now excited by my reaction. It's easy for me to see how an ongoing pattern of such interruptions to a child's activities could cause a child to look to others for rewards as opposed to being satisfied with internal feelings of satisfaction. Another example I can think of is when I worked in a residential care facility where children were brought up on point cards and awarded positive points for "good" behaviors. I can tell you that I saw many of these seemingly "good" children engaged in completely different behaviors when no one was looking. Those children who had been at the facility a long time and had years of this sort of training seemed to lack very basic internal motivation to behave morally. This is a more extreme example, but still the result of constant external motivators nonetheless.
It is very hard though. I catch myself saying to Boo things like, "What a great drawing!" and "Good job building with blocks!" all the time. No, they're not inherently evil things to say, but better responses would focus on what he drew and discussing his drawing with him. "You used a lot of blue in that spot," or in block building "You put two towers on that castle."
I am as always a work in progress as a mother. This is one of those habits that is extremely hard to break, but I will keep trying!
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