Our current plan is for Boo to be present at the birth of his sibling. I found some great information here and thought I would pass it along.
Preparing an Older Sibling for a New Birth
Boo has always been high needs in terms of attention and emotions. He's a very sensitive little soul. So it has been with much consideration that we've decided that the right choice for him is to be at the birth. While I do think he might struggle with seeing mom in pain, I also think that he may feel incredibly left out if he leaves the house and there's all of a sudden a baby when he comes back home. Given his personality, it seems that he might adjust better to being a big sibling if he's a part of his sibling's birth day. We will continue to prep him and discuss birth with him and are of course open to a plan B if he should indicate in one way or another that being at the birth is not best for him.
Sometimes I've wondered if/how he's processing all of this birthing education. Being 3 1/2 and an active little boy he's not exactly prone to long drawn out conversations about his feelings on the matter. The other day we ran into someone that I hadn't seen in a long time at Target and upon being questioned about the fact that he was in fact going to be a big brother, Boo began to tell this person how when baby's big enough, baby will come out of mommy's door. Well, I guess he HAS been listening and comprehending in his own way!
We've been working on creating a bedroom for Boo. I had a frank conversation with T the other night about transitioning Boo to his bedroom and was so relieved to find that we are on the same page. That is, that the bedroom is there and Boo can choose to sleep in it and he can choose to continue to cosleep. The only change is that Boo has his spot on the edge of the bed and he will likely have to give up his spot on the end move to the middle. Little one's cosleeper will be attached to the edge of the bed and I definitely feel that given how Boo rotates and moves in his sleep I'll need to be between him and his baby! Hopefully he will manage that small change okay. Right now he throws a righteous fit if we ask him to sleep in the middle. I'm hoping that he might understand more with a baby there. This could backfire, so I guess we'll just have to play it by ear! I guess maybe the key for us will be to be flexible and creative in the way that we help Boo adjust.
I'm open to any suggestions of those who've been through this process before!
Could you explain to him that when he was little that was where he slept as well and now that he is a big boy (3 yrs!) the middle is his own place in the bed. It's perfect because there he between mommy and daddy and he can keep an eye on things. I am just spit-balling here :)
ReplyDeleteSpit-balling welcome. I'm open to all ideas! I may try this and see how he responds to it - I'm open to anything.! I think he's uncomfortable with the whole he's the big boy now thing. I feel like when I try to go that route with him he starts demonstrating a need to be treated as more of a baby, i.e. climbing into my lap and curling up, making baby noises, etc...I've been trying to encourage him with all of the things that big boys are allowed to do that babies can't do - eat popcorn, play outside, ride bikes, etc...I almost wonder if he'll do better after the baby is really here. I feel like maybe the fear of the unknown is playing into his feelings right now.
ReplyDeleteYeah, the fear of the unknown is a bog one, Hattie struggled with that. I think it comes down to re-assurance that they are still a big part of your life and that there is room for another baby too. I guess too I could see the "u r a big boy" thing putting pressure on him too. So maybe best course of action is to tell him your expectations and help gently live up to the things that he needs to respond to.
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