Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Respectfully Pregnant

I've recently started reading the book Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids. I'm not very far into the book yet, but I can tell it's going to be a good one with lots of practical help. I hope to do a few in depth posts on the book as I get further into it. In the beginning, there's much talk about meeting your own needs. This is nothing new. In fact, many of the wonderful parenting books that I've read over the last several years have included a section on caring for oneself. I feel like I've done an okay job of this in the past, but feel very much as though I've hit a wall recently.

The title of this post is a bit of irony in that yes, I am pregnant, but I'm not feeling very respectful at the moment. I've reached that point in pregnancy where I'm uncomfortable and not sleeping well. There is something so maddening about getting up 3 or 4 times a night to pee or waking up extremely early and being absolutely unable to fall back asleep. I don't think I've seen the bags leave my eyes for the past few weeks. My hormones seem to be bouncing all over the place and I find myself getting irritated at the most minor of things. And here's the really crazy part - I'm only 27 weeks, just into third trimester. So I have awhile yet to go. And as for my parenting? Well, I feel like I'm living proof that a mother who is not well rested and comfortable is not very capable of being loving and gentle. This makes me sad. I want so much for my little one to have his feelings and opinions respected and not steamrolled. It's as if Invasion of the Body Snatchers has happened in our household and his mother has been replaced by Screamo Mom!

Of course when I'm not pregnant I've had my screamo moments. I mean, I think we all do as we work to become better mothers. But I feel like this has been a constant for the past week or so. It's interesting that I can be so loving and gentle with my daycare kiddos five days a week. But watch out 5:00pm when it's after hours! And of course the last thing I want my kiddo to see is his mommy being loving and patient with his friends, but not with him! Oh man, talk about feeling mommy guilt! Not to mention, the final three months of my pregnancy are the last three months that he's going to get mommy to himself before sharing with a sibling. Double mommy guilt!

I'd love to hear from others who have been through pregnancy with other children to care for. I'm open to all ideas that will help me to preserve my sanity! This is a first for me considering I obviously didn't have any children at home when I was pregnant with Boo. I know that proper nutrition and exercise of course helps. I admit that I caved to an oreo cookie craving earlier this week. So that has probably not helped. Mmm - oreos - I'm salivating already. I have noticed that sugar intake causes me to be moody and irritable.

It seems that this has been more of a venting post than I initially set out for it to be. Please forgive me on that one.

On a more upbeat note, I've been gifted a blogging award. I will post more on that later. There are some requirements to receiving the award as far as giving the same award to other bloggers and my brain has been in such a fog that I'm still trying to sort that part out. So, when I get my brain defogged and get it done, I will post!


  1. Something that has helped me is by actually telling my girls that when mommy is preggers that all the chemical in my body get all jacked up and that I don't mean to be screamo and for them to know that I'm not always going to be like that. And I offer them ways they can help and have fun...for example, my girl all love hair and make-up. So, i tell them they can give mommy a make over, hairdo, mani & pedi. Its never beautiful but their tiny little fingers touching my face, head, hands & feet is very relaxing. And after I'm relaxed I do it for them. It really is a ton of fun. Although Ayden probably wouldn't want make up & hair he may actually like a little massage. It's just a thought, thankfully little ones are incredibly forgiving and full of grace when needed. :)

  2. I love this crystal. Maybe it's the guiness but it made me teary. I miss you and I love your honesty in parenting and the want you display to be a better mom. The only advice I have to give is to understand that the second pregnancy sucks more in the third then the first. At least mine did. Be respectful of Boo but understand you may need to hide in the bathroom with some tea and just relax for 20 after the kiddos leave. Make a ritual of it. You got this shit. You are Crystal. Roar!!!!

  3. I think Ayden would LOVE to give mommy a make over. It's like drawing on the face! And what's more fun then that?! Good idea Malissa!

  4. I'm actually also loving the makeover idea Malissa. I'm not sure about makeup all over the face - I really think Ayden would go to town on that one - I'm thinking it would end up on my arms and legs as well! BUT, I was thinking that he might enjoy painting my toenails for me with my cute shimmery green nail polish - which is currently on his fingernails by the way!

    Thanks for your support Maggie - didn't mean to make you cry you big sap! I've been inspired by a really honest blog I read recently about how hard it is to be the mother that is ideal in our own minds. I feel like I walk a fine line with my blog sometimes in that I want to advocate for gentle parenting and some attachment parenting concepts, but I also don't want to come across as self-righteous. Lord knows that I am not the perfect mother and I don't have all of the parenting answers. I've just found some topics that I'm rather passionate about and enjoy sharing. So I'm trying harder to pair that with honesty in my shortcomings. But in doing so, I'm also trying not to be too whiney and/or ventish in my blogs - I think I've been very guilty of this in the past. So I feel like it can be hard to have a good balance of all of that. And all of this is a major tangent, but you made me think of it! :P

  5. Oh. I'm now sporting a lovely green shimmery color on my toenails...and on my toes too. Ayden and I had fun. Thanks for the idea. I'm going to try to think of more little things like this that we can do!