A Whole Lot of Nothing

Well, later today we attend my grandpa's wake (visitation as it's called around here). Then tomorrow is the funeral. We've been busy trying to find a suit for my hubby today. He's going to be a pallbearer tomorrow. He's never really needed a suit for anything, so he doesn't really own one. So it's been a bit of a fiasco but we think we've found a solution. Ayden's down for a nap now, so I have tons of stuff to do. His birthday party is this Saturday here at the house, so I'm trying to clean up around here (no easy feat). I've been cleaning/organizing trying to get ready for daycare and some areas are definitely looking very childcare-oriented. But it's hard to work on that and keep up with just the basic cleaning. So I'm off to do the dishes and give my kitchen the once over. Hopefully Ayden will cooperate and take a good nap. He hasn't napped all day, so we'll see. He's going to the visitation with us tonight, so the nap is pretty important if I don't want him to be fussy the entire time.

I feel like I've said a whole lot of nothing here. This has definitely been very different from our average week around here.

Goodbye Grandpa

Well, this week has brought some change. My grandpa's health has been gradually deteriorating over the years. It's been hard to watch as I love my grandpa very much. This past weekend he passed on. I'm not sure that the full impact has hit me yet. I've not had a good cry over it though I loved him very much. My grandpa was a good man who loved his family very much. I'm so happy to have been a part of his life and so glad that he was a part of mine. His music and funny songs will live on in the memory of those that loved him. He will be greatly missed, but he is home with God now. I feel very lucky in that I got to give him last hugs and kisses and "I love you"s before he left. I know that not everyone gets that chance. It helps me to feel at peace knowing that I got to get in those last hugs and kisses. I love him very much and he will be sorely missed.

What I've Been Up To

So it's been a little while. Everytime I resolve to be better at updating my blog I do okay for a few days and then it drops off of the radar for awhile. But that's life in all of its glorious busyness! T and I have been making it a point to get out and about a lot more...especially with it being summer. When you live somewhere that has four distinct seasons it's very important to get out while the getting is good. Although, the past couple of years I've felt that we've had two seasons as spring and fall don't seem to be as separate and lengthy as they used to be. This is really noticable with fall. It seems like last year the weather went from hot to freezing pretty quickly. That was pretty disappointing. I love fall when the earth is covered in beautiful hues of oranges/yellows/reds. It's such a pretty time. And now I realize that I'm rambling about the weather. Oh well.

In our getting out and about we've done a couple of things. We've gone to the Olde English Faire at Jubilee State College Park in Brimfield, IL. That was fun. We had some homemade rootbeer that was especially tasty. I bought some natural soaps...which I love. We pushed Boo around in the stroller and he seemed to enjoy people watching as well as gobbling up pieces of turkey from my smoked turkey leg. Oh, and I had some apple dumpling that was to die for. It was incredibly tasty.

Last weekend we dropped by Railroad Days - a festival that celebrates the railroad and its history. And let me say it's gone downhill from when I went as a kid. Honestly, we were largely unimpressed. But, Boo enjoyed looking at everything. And we had some awesome BBQ pork sandwhiches. So that was good.

We also picked up our bike trailor last weekend. We tried Boo out in it. He was a little hesitant at first, but I think that he decided to like the bikeride after all. And let me tell you, biking with a working tire is an entirely new experience. Last time we went biking - which has been awhile because both of our bikes have needed repairs for some time - I could not keep up for the life of me. I was pedaling twice as fast as everyone that I was with, but to no avail. Lo and behold my hunch was right. Something was wrong with the tube and the air valve on my tire. I felt like a new woman riding my bike this week. And I must say I felt relieved to know that my hunch was right about the tire...a little self-esteem boost about my ability to ride my bicycle.

Anyways, I'm working on the home daycare, but it's really really slow-going. Part of the reason is that there's so much organizing/rearranging/fixing up that needs to be done around the house. We both want certain things in place prior to opening the daycare. Plus, there's paperwork stuff that needs to be done. It's really hard to find the time since I already work a full-time job. So it feels very much like having a second job right now. I know it will be worth it in the end. But I'd rather take it slow and steady because after all, I'm only human. Plus, there is some expense in getting ready and I want to spread the expense out as much as possible. I've written my parent contract and I'm working on writing my policies. I need to come up with a good name for my childcare (I'm not putting the word daycare in the name), but so far my mind has been pretty blank. I welcome all ideas on that one. As soon as I figure out a good name I'll probably open a business checking account, but I need to be really sure on the name before taking that step.

Anyways, this is a huge entry. So if you're still with me you're very sweet! Take care.

Moving Forward

Well, my convo with the landlord was today and it went well. They're okay with the daycare thing. So now it's a matter of figuring my timeline, writing policies/contracts/handbooks/etc..., setting up business accounts/cards/etc..., scrubbing the house from top to bottom, rearranging the house, fixing things around the house, choosing curriculum...well, the list could go on and on. Anyways, there's a lot to do. While I have no desire to drag this out forever, I don't want to rush at this point either. I want to make sure we have all of our ducks in a row. Anyways, just thought I would update.

My Favorite Toy

Boo has a large assortment of toys courtesy of mommy and daddy as well as papa and grandma. He's got some toys made from natural materials (my favorite) and some light up, make noise, plasticy toys (not my favorite). I prefer open ended toys that encourage imagination as opposed to toys that "do something". Also, I like things that are made from natural materials as I don't have to worry so much about the toxins that might be in those toys. One of the presents we got Boo for Christmas was a playsilk. You can view this product, entitled Baby Boo silk, by clicking on the following link

Baby Boo Silk

I bought this on a whim actually as I was already purchasing a different gift from this website. Here's what I love about this. It begs to be interactive. Boo and I play peekaboo with this, "where's mommy", "tickle the baby", etc...There's so many things to do with this. It's much easier to veg out and not engage with your child when your child has a toy that "does something". I've definitely caught myself doing just that more times than I'd like to admit.

Why this and not just a piece of scrap fabric? Well, I think scrap fabric has its place in a toy collection and I plan to make Boo a basket of scrap fabrics. However, I definitely think silk needs to be included because its so soft and babies love soft things!

A biking we will go

I'm excited. We finally got our stimulus check and we're going to do the irresponsible thing and spend a portion of it. We're going to get our bicycles fixed (they need some minor repairs) and get a bike trailor for Boo. How exciting! I LOVE being outdoors and really enjoy biking. I hope that we can make time for this in our busy life. And it is soooo busy. I need to shop around and see what kind of bike trailer to get. It doesn't need to be fancy, just safe. Woo hoo - here we come!

Walking a Thin Line

I feel very much a lot of days that I'm missing out. I feel that Boo is missing out. It grieves my heart to drop him off with grandma and papa every Monday through Friday to go to work. I'm sure every working mom knows the feeling I'm talking about. As though your heart is being ripped from your body every single workday. Granted, the pain dulls and some days I don't feel it at all. But it's one of those things if you think about it, it's there. Still residing inside...every day. I feel such incredible love for time with my Boo that I feel someone should be paying me for the privilege of spending time with him and not the other way around. Of course that's nonsense - but sometimes the injustice of it all threatens to come crashing down on me. I could easily give way to bitterness if I allowed myself to dwell on it too long.

I've started reading The Creative Family. She talks about being frugal with everything, throwing away few things, reinventing old clothing,etc...And it makes me wonder if I was just ambitious and creative enough, could I find a way to be with my Boo? Is it my material, very American capitalistic personality that moves me to work every day? The answer is not a simple black and white. Prior to getting this full-time job there were days that I didn't know if we'd have enough money to pay the power company before they'd shut the power off. But is that because there's truly a lack of funds or because I'm not being creative enough to stretch the little that we have? So that line I mentioned is hard to fine. The one where creativity turns into irresponsibility. It's nothing that anyone else can answer for us. We have to do some major soul searching inside of ourselves to find the answer. My husband and I prayed together last night...for peace and knowledge. I hope that searching for inner peace can lead me to the path that's right for us. And perhaps I'm being impatient as we are on the verge of getting licensed to do home daycare. Then I can be with Boo and make money. But even then, how will I spend those dollars? Will I be creative or take the lazy route and buy rather than reinvent? Not to say that there's anything wrong with buying new. There's times where it's definitely the way to go, but probably a lot less than the times that I do actually buy new.

So tommorrow I go to the official DCFS (Department of Children and Family Services) orientation on Home Daycare licensing. Then, provided I don't hear something that completely turns me off, I need to get approval from our landlord. So I've picked this weekend to have this conversation. And I'm nervous. What if they say no? What will I do? I don't know that I have any clear answers for those questions. I don't think I can continue on the path that I'm currently on though. So, if you think of it, send positive thoughts, energy, and/or prayers my way!